If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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