I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
