i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
