I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
