she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I didn't notice because vodka
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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