He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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