i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
