We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
