Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
