Kiss
Puke
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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