I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
