Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
