I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
