I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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