I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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