well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Only a mothe r could love this liver
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
