I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
