So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
