Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
you had me at cake vodka
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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