Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
