I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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