You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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