We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
i think my cat just said my name.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
