do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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