He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
