Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
