I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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