that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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