We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
