yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I need to align my fucking chakras
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