Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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