he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
