Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Randomize
