and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
