Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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