Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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