I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
