we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
