I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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