you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i think my cat just said my name.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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