Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
