and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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