so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
