She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
