I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
this just has baby written all over it
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
