I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Who put my cat in the fridge?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
