pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
