He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
