im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
