Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
