she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
