Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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