Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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