I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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